Category Archives: Hope

Yet Again

  Another hospitalization under my belt. Suicidal ideation reared its head. For the fourth time in a fifteen-month span, it beckoned. This time, I managed to avoid the clique-ishness of the staff at the one hospital and the vulgarity of … Continue reading

Posted in Community, Connection, FTM, Gratititude, Hope, Hope, Mental health, Mental illness, Psych Hospitalization, Suicide, support, UU Fellowship | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Bewildered?

Writing this in hopes of connecting. My soul’s been on disconnect for much longer than expected. Simple tasks had become behemoth; brushing my teeth, a feat of massive proportions. And I spent another five weeks searching deeper into my head … Continue reading

Posted in Community, Connection, Family, Friendship, Hope, Psych Hospitalization, Reality, sadness, superhero | 15 Comments

Three Strikes?

Headaches, in general, have not been a problem for me. Muscle discomfort. PMS strife. Pain following twelve hour scoliosis surgery. All familiar. The near-migraines ( have experienced those, as well) that have plagued me in the last couple of weeks … Continue reading

Posted in Celebration, Dignity, Friendship, FTM, Hope, Hormone Replacement Therapy, Testosterone, Therapy, Top Surgery | Tagged , , , , , | 10 Comments

Baby Bird

Like a little bird. How I see myself these days. In a way, I hope it won’t last because of the vulnerability factor. At the same time, it’s a reminder I have lots of growing ahead. Mental health issues sometimes … Continue reading

Posted in Dignity, Gratititude, Hope, Mental health, Pride, Progression, Psych Hospitalization, PTSD, Therapy | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

Weathering the Front

Winds whipped. Gusts beyond 60 miles per hour. Trees– tall, majestic– ripped like carrots from a backyard garden. Frozen tundra came to mind. Spaghetti-strewn wires adorned darkened, bare streets. Teeth chattered. Windows rattled. Ordinarily I’d sleep through it all. Not … Continue reading

Posted in Celebration, Community, Connection, FTM, Hope, Hope, Hormone Replacement Therapy, Mental health, Progression, Reality, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Color Blind

When prompted to write about my favorite color and why I chose that particular color, my inclination was to write about more than one. Not because I was being feisty. To me, there isn’t just one. Like me, there is … Continue reading

Posted in Celebration, Hope, Hormone Replacement Therapy | Tagged , , , , , , | 8 Comments

It Snowed.

Leave it to millions that will chronicle Jonas’ impact… For the past nine months I’ve been focused, in not so much a conscious way, yet not super subconscious either, on my physical self. Take my wrinkles, for example. Many times … Continue reading

Posted in Aging, Celebration, Dignity, Gratititude, Hope, Mental health, Pride, Progression, Reality | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Trans or Bi Gender

Not certain whether folks will care that I don’t want to be ‘fully’ male. The word bi freaks people out. Or the use of it. Remember the time  I attempted to fit into the lesbian community as bisexual in the … Continue reading

Posted in Childhood sexual abuse, Connection, FTM, Hope, Mental health, Sex | Tagged , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Transgender: A Timely Topic

As the New Year begins, I find myself yearning to write. To gather thoughts, ideas, facts and revelations; to jot them down in any form imaginable. Mostly, I write my blog following a meeting of the trans masculine group I’m … Continue reading

Posted in Community, Connection, Friendship, FTM, Hope, New Year, Poetry, Uncategorized, Writing/Groups | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Living Authentically

Without question, I could overuse the word ‘connection.’ It sounds nice as it escapes my lips.  It’s a feeling, not in the mind, but gut. My brain is mobbed with thoughts. None intrusive. Bonding thoughts. Like the way glue affixes to … Continue reading

Posted in Community, Connection, Family, Friendship, FTM, Hope | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments