Author Archives: sam davies

About sam davies

I love to write. I have a wonderful partner, G, of 16 years and a kitty named Mango. Only recently reclaimed my transgender Self. All my life I felt like a boy but didn't have a name for what it was I felt. As I travel this journey, I hope to meet others along the way who walk a more different path from the rest.

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I want desperately to write. There’s a burning, yearning. I am raw. I feel so very alone. I am homeless. A hotel room lovingly provided. A night in the spare room of a dear friend. Moving forward, two weeks offered … Continue reading

Posted in FTM | 9 Comments

Yet Again

  Another hospitalization under my belt. Suicidal ideation reared its head. For the fourth time in a fifteen-month span, it beckoned. This time, I managed to avoid the clique-ishness of the staff at the one hospital and the vulgarity of … Continue reading

Posted in Community, Connection, FTM, Gratititude, Hope, Hope, Mental health, Mental illness, Psych Hospitalization, Suicide, support, UU Fellowship | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Writing at “Steel City”

20-30 minute prompt: A Big Favor I have a tendency not to ask too many–favors, that is. I’m inclined to believe it may be due to my upbringing. What isn’t connected to my upbringing, I think. I was brought up … Continue reading

Posted in FTM | 2 Comments

Elevator Angel

Before today, I didn’t have an advanced directive stating my desires surrounding my end of life. Today I will ask my friends, T, and D, to witness my signature on the form G brought home.   “Are you okay?” asked … Continue reading

Posted in FTM | 6 Comments

Bewildered?

Writing this in hopes of connecting. My soul’s been on disconnect for much longer than expected. Simple tasks had become behemoth; brushing my teeth, a feat of massive proportions. And I spent another five weeks searching deeper into my head … Continue reading

Posted in Community, Connection, Family, Friendship, Hope, Psych Hospitalization, Reality, sadness, superhero | 15 Comments

Three Strikes?

Headaches, in general, have not been a problem for me. Muscle discomfort. PMS strife. Pain following twelve hour scoliosis surgery. All familiar. The near-migraines ( have experienced those, as well) that have plagued me in the last couple of weeks … Continue reading

Posted in Celebration, Dignity, Friendship, FTM, Hope, Hormone Replacement Therapy, Testosterone, Therapy, Top Surgery | Tagged , , , , , | 10 Comments

High Road

Can’t say there’s a reason I’d abandoned Sams Space. Possibly because I’d stepped away from me for a while. Ironic, since I returned to cognitive therapy sessions as a precursor to hormone therapy, as requested by my provider of T. … Continue reading

Posted in CBT, Celebration, Community, Dignity, Hormone Replacement Therapy, Lesbian, Mental health, Pride, Testosterone | Tagged , , , , , | 8 Comments

Around the Bend…

This weekend was a whirlwind of activity for me; someone who generally is not too active on a regular basis. Friday I attended the Trans Health Conference sans cane. Hung with my close bud, B, and managed both physically and … Continue reading

Posted in Family, massacre, Orlando, Pride, sadness, UU Fellowship | Tagged | 12 Comments

Baby Bird

Like a little bird. How I see myself these days. In a way, I hope it won’t last because of the vulnerability factor. At the same time, it’s a reminder I have lots of growing ahead. Mental health issues sometimes … Continue reading

Posted in Dignity, Gratititude, Hope, Mental health, Pride, Progression, Psych Hospitalization, PTSD, Therapy | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

Weathering the Front

Winds whipped. Gusts beyond 60 miles per hour. Trees– tall, majestic– ripped like carrots from a backyard garden. Frozen tundra came to mind. Spaghetti-strewn wires adorned darkened, bare streets. Teeth chattered. Windows rattled. Ordinarily I’d sleep through it all. Not … Continue reading

Posted in Celebration, Community, Connection, FTM, Hope, Hope, Hormone Replacement Therapy, Mental health, Progression, Reality, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments