Around the Bend…

This weekend was a whirlwind of activity for me; someone who generally is not too active on a regular basis. Friday I attended the Trans Health Conference sans cane. Hung with my close bud, B, and managed both physically and emotionally.

Saturday morning, G, and I geared up for another day downtown via the train. I have gotten to love that dear train ride. Yet I was wiped before I’d had my first cup of coffee. I was also extremely psyched. I was going to be in trans space two days in a row. Two wonderfully marvelous days to be me. Off we went.

Sunday rolled around and there had been a snafu at the van dealership and we couldn’t get the van for our UU Fellowship to participate in Pride, as we call it here. So G. and I figured we’d go to church, get some lunch afterward and maybe take a walk later. At 7:20 a.m. I got a notification a group was headed to the parade in a couple cars. I was game.

While I focused on preparing for my trip downtown– it takes a bit of arranging when you have physical difficulties– I pretty much glazed over the news report about a shooting in Orlando. I wasn’t insensitive or being stupid, I just wasn’t tuned in. Didn’t read about it online, see the coverage. Nothing.

This year I drove my friend P’s car in the parade. We had a blast! Handed out the 342 buttons I’d made with our churches “motto,” Standing on the Side of Love. Everything went without a proverbial hitch. The weather cooperated. GPS got us off the expressway and back on again missing miles of back-up. YAY for us.

It wasn’t until I had come home, peeled my damp clothes off and grabbed a shower that I learned of the massacre of so many of my community/family members and their grieving relatives. “It’s a shame what happened in Orlando,” I said. “Know any of the details?”

“The shooting took place in a Gay Bar called Pulse,” said G. I froze. I shook. The lump in my throat turned from anger to sadness and back to anger again. I briefly talked to P, who is family. “Did you hear the latest count?” he asked. “50,” was the answer. Goose bumps covered me.

Tomorrow back downtown. For a Candlelight Vigil for so many members of our community and their families. We are all a family. If I lost sight of that, for whatever reasons in the past, I’m now in touch more than ever with the depth of this loss. It’s my loss. It’s all our loss. Gay or not gay.


About sam davies

I write under the pseudonym, Sam Davies.
This entry was posted in Family, massacre, Orlando, Pride, sadness, UU Fellowship and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Around the Bend…

  1. Sherry says:

    Beautifully written. I was at the conference on Friday, then the Pride Parade today and I’m exhausted. I’d go downtown again tomorrow except that I work on Monday until 6pm and I’m awfully tired. This is the worst mass killing we’ve had. I’m so frustrated that we allow these automatic weapons that can kills dozens of people in seconds. Good luck tomorrow. I’ll be thinking about the vigil.


  2. So sorry about this horrible massacre on the LGBTQ community. You are right, Sam. It is a loss for all of us. We are all from the same source, ONE source, making us ONE family. Why can’t we unite? All we need is love, it’s so simple. Why can’t we all get it? Love and prayers to the LGBTQ community and the world.


  3. pkcapaldo says:

    This tragedy struck such fear and grief in my heart for all my friends and family in the LGBTQ community. Hugs and prayers to the families of the victims, but hugs and prayers are not enough. We need to change the laws!


  4. contoveros says:

    Yes, “It’s all our loss. Gay or not gay.”

    I totally agree . . .

    Michael J


  5. Jamie Ray says:

    Sam, thank you for coming over and introducing yourself. It was great to meet you ever so briefly and I wish there had been time to hang out and talk with you.
    Very hard to process Orlando right after the PTHC. Went to a vigil in NYC last night, so at least I was with community.


    • sam davies says:

      Glad to have met you, as well, Jamie. Processing could take a while. This evening we will be in community and I can at least offer prayers at a gathering for the souls who’s lives were lost.


  6. Diane Yannick says:

    This newest massacre makes me heartsick for all of us. Isn’t it time we at least take the first step and ban assault rifles? Meanwhile, people die and holes are left in so many lives. What news to have to digest after your pride filled weekend. Sending love to all in your community and all other humans who have to live in this increasingly violent world.

    Liked by 1 person

    • sam davies says:

      Thank you for your sentiments which clearly come from your heart. We are just coming from the candlelight vigil. We marched around City Hall, screaming at the top of our lungs to save lives and to end hatred. It was invigorating but much more needs to be done.


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